Saturday, March 2, 2013

Happy birthday, Thomas

A year ago today, we had just learned that our "baby A" was already on his way to being born, far too soon at only 18 weeks. We were told that our "baby B" had almost no chance of survival, and had to push our doctor to try a Delayed Interval Delivery. Almost exactly 1 year ago as I type this (around noon), Thomas was born far too soon and we were left desperately hoping that his twin brother Milo would beat the nearly insurmountable odds stacked against him.

It's very hard to look back and wonder about what could have been with Thomas. Had we gotten the cerclage placed just a little earlier, maybe both of our boys would have made it. Maybe if our original doctors had been more proactive, we'd have had that chance. At the same time, we know what a gift Thomas gave us, gave his brother. By hanging in there as long as he did, Thomas gave our doctors a chance to do a very controlled Delayed Interval Delivery in optimal circumstances, which ultimately gave Milo the best chance possible. Still, today we are missing Thomas very much.

But a year ago today, we also decided to take charge of Laurie's pregnancy and stop just listening to our doctors without questioning. We didn't accept what was offered to us without a challenge--we learned enough to know what to ask about and demanded the type of care we thought made the most sense. And we shared in hopes that others would learn from our experiences. We've already been in touch with a few people through this blog who did just that, and we're proud that Thomas' legacy lives on through their survivors.

130 days after we lost Thomas, Milo finally joined us, our miracle baby. His brothers were surely watching out for him from above and keeping him safe during the many months that Laurie spent on bed rest.

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